Why are the Dutch so direct?
8 communication tips to come across a bit more diplomatic
The Dutch are known for their directness and “say-it-as-it-is” style of communication. The society is built on the idea that everyone is fundamentally equal, and that no one should assume they are more important than someone else. The Netherlands is one of the most status-less countries in the world. Hierarchies are flat, titles matter little, and everyone is encouraged to speak their mind, sometimes to the surprise of colleagues from more status-conscious cultures.
Low value placed on visible status.
In many neighbouring countries, you can see more visible status markers like larger cars, more luxurious jewellery, academic titles, privileges, that communicate hierarchy, success, or presenting your academic background. In the Dutch context, these markers can be perceived as unnecessary or even inappropriate. There is a strong cultural principle that says: “Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg.”; Just act normal, that’s already crazy enough.”
Gewoon lekker zichzelf gebleven
In the Netherlands, someone is not automatically placed on a pedestal merely by hierarchy, belonging to a certain family, academic prestige, or even exceptional achievement. Instead, competence is appreciated, but humility is expected. What matters most is that people contribute constructively, remain grounded, and stay true to themselves. Dutch people often praise celebrities or successful professionals for having “stayed their normal selves,” or remained down-to-earth. This compliment reflects the strong cultural expectation to remain humble and approachable, no matter how high one rises.
Status doesn’t come from hierarchy, expertise, or background.
Status in other cultures can be explained by factors, such as high Power Distance, Masculinity, or Uncertainty Avoidance, as reflected in Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions. The Netherlands score low on all three. Using our country comparison tool, you will see that that countries with similarly low scores on all three dimensions display similar patterns of directness and egalitarian communication. If you like to hear more about status being derived from different factors; check this module: Status and Culture; it is not always hierarchy that drives status.
Why This Leads to Directness
Because Dutch society minimizes status differences, people feel safe and entitled to speak their mind openly. Dutch communicators are trained to prioritize honesty, clarity and efficiency over tact. There is no need to “read between the lines” or soften messages to protect someone’s ego based on their position. As a result, Dutch communication is:
Straightforward: people say what they mean, without sugarcoating.Direct: authority is respected, but opinions are valued equally and shared anytime also when not asked for, decisions are often discussed openly Task-oriented instead of relationship-oriented: efficiency and clarity are prioritized over diplomacy and relationship-oriented communication styles.
For people from cultures where hierarchy and face-saving are essential, this can feel blunt, unnecessary harsh, or overly personal.
How to stay authentic, but a bit less blunt
You don’t need to give up Dutch directness. It is valued internationally for clarity and efficiency. But a few small adjustments can make your message more inclusive and easier to receive for colleagues from other cultural backgrounds:
| Avoid “You” | You don’t understand -> I am not being very clear You made -> There are a few mistakes in the report |
| Avoid negative words Use positive synonyms | Bad idea -> Not such a good idea Wrong -> Not quite right |
| Avoid comparatives, use alternatives | Better -> Let’s look into a different solution I have a better idea -> Another idea This could also work well |
| Use downgraders | I was a little bit disappointed that I had a few minor comments I partly agree, I almost agree I just have a few things to add Its a rather unusual idea |
| Add a softener before or after the message | May I offer a suggestion From my perspective….. |
| Start with something positive | The idea is strong, I do have one concern we may need to consider |
| Check how the message landed | Does this make sense? How does this come across to you? (but not: do you understand what I just said or “is that clear?) |
| Words that will do miracles | Sorry, Please, Thank you, I really appreciate Could we, should we, might we, perhaps Compliments; nicely done |